VISITATION JOURNAL 

The exchange of children for visitation can be a frustrating experience for all involved.  If you are a non-custodial parent having problems with your visitation rights with your children, good records help establish evidence that can be used to assist you in court if you are unable to resolve the conflict through mediation prior to court. If you are having difficulty with the exchanges, contact the other parent about meeting with a neutral third party in an attempt to resolve on-going issues. Check your local listings for mediators or a Dispute Resolution Center.

Your court order usually outlines the terms of visitation and who is to pick up and drop off the children.  Do not have another person do the exchanges without prior notification and agreement.  This helps your children know who will be there to pick them up or drop them off.   Visitation includes the information on the court order about the place of exchange, the times and dates of the exchange, and the person named to do the exchange.  Only court orders or subsequent changes adopted by the court are enforceable.   

If you need a copy of your court order, contact the clerk of the District Court that heard your case. If you need assistance in interpreting the order, an attorney can explain it to you. Unless you qualify for free legal assistance from your local legal aid agency, the attorney will charge you a minimal fee for this service.  If there is a Domestic Relations Office in your community, contact it for assistance in interpreting the order (if it was issued in that county) and possibly with enforcing visitation.  Check your local listings for contact information.  The Domestic Relations Office will not have a copy of your order. 

A journal that contains the dates and times you are actually denied visitation/possession of your child(ren) is necessary as evidence to support your allegation that you have been denied visitation.  Maintaining an accurate journal is necessary before you can enforce your visitation/possession rights in court. Update the journal at the same time as the denials occur. Make the journal entries as soon as possible after each actual denial so the event is recorded while the events are fresh. An actual denial is when you physically go to the place where you are supposed to meet or pick up your child(ren) at the exact time ordered by the court and you are denied access to your child(ren). If a reason is given for the denial, be sure to record that reason in this journal.

This does not include when you are told over the telephone that you will be denied before the scheduled date and time. You should also record this in your journal when it happens. However, you will still need to go to the place where you are supposed to meet and pick up your child(ren) at the exact time stated in the court order and record that event if you want to seek enforcement of your visitation rights.

If possible, arrange to have a witness present at the denial. You should use someone who will be available to testify in court if necessary. Keep that person’s name, address, and phone number. The witness should not be your significant other.   If the exchange site is at a commercial business, such as a fast food restaurant, purchase an item and keep the receipt as evidence of the time and date you were present.  Keep this receipt.  A record of at least three denials within a brief time span is helpful if going to court. 

 If the situation starts to get difficult when you arrive and you are denied visitation, leave and record the denial.   Leave without causing a scene.  See if you can pick up the children at a convenient place that is away from the other parent’s home, such as an aunt or grandparent’s home.

The journal/calendar must include the following information to assist in enforcing your visitation/possession rights in court:

• Date of denial
• Time of denial
• What occurred at the denial (e.g., no one answered the door, you were told to go away, you were told your child(ren) were not home, etc.)
• Name of any witnesses of the denial.

If you have any questions about how to keep your journal/ calendar, please call your attorney or the attorney’s secretary.

If the court finds that there has been fighting or verbal or physical violence at the pick-ups and drop-offs, it may order you to exchange the children at a neutral exchange site and may allocate the expenses to one or both parents.